ABNORMAL, adj.  Not conforming to standard.  In matters of thought and
conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be
detested.  Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the
straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself.
Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and
the hope of Hell.

ABORIGINIES, n.  Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a
newly discovered country.  They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

ABRACADABRA.

  By _Abracadabra_ we signify
      An infinite number of things.
  'Tis the answer to What? and How? and Why?
  And Whence? and Whither? -- a word whereby
      The Truth (with the comfort it brings)
  Is open to all who grope in night,
  Crying for Wisdom's holy light.

  Whether the word is a verb or a noun
      Is knowledge beyond my reach.
  I only know that 'tis handed down.
          From sage to sage,
          From age to age --
      An immortal part of speech!

  Of an ancient man the tale is told
  That he lived to be ten centuries old,
      In a cave on a mountain side.
      (True, he finally died.)
  The fame of his wisdom filled the land,
  For his head was bald, and you'll understand
      His beard was long and white
      And his eyes uncommonly bright.

  Philosophers gathered from far and near
  To sit at his feet and hear and hear,
          Though he never was heard
          To utter a word
      But "_Abracadabra, abracadab_,
          _Abracada, abracad_,
      _Abraca, abrac, abra, ab!_"
          'Twas all he had,
  'Twas all they wanted to hear, and each
  Made copious notes of the mystical speech,
          Which they published next --
          A trickle of text
  In the meadow of commentary.
      Mighty big books were these,
      In a number, as leaves of trees;
  In learning, remarkably -- very!

          He's dead,
          As I said,
  And the books of the sages have perished,
  But his wisdom is sacredly cherished.
  In _Abracadabra_ it solemnly rings,
  Like an ancient bell that forever swings.
          O, I love to hear
          That word make clear
  Humanity's General Sense of Things.

Jamrach Holobom


ABRIDGE, v.t.  To shorten.

      When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for
  people to abridge their king, a decent respect for the opinions of
  mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel
  them to the separation.

Oliver Cromwell


ABRUPT, adj.  Sudden, without ceremony, like the arrival of a cannon-
shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests are most
affected by it.  Dr. Samuel Johnson beautifully said of another
author's ideas that they were "concatenated without abruption."

ABSCOND, v.i.  To "move in a mysterious way," commonly with the
property of another.

  Spring beckons!  All things to the call respond;
  The trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

Phela Orm


ABSENT, adj.  Peculiarly exposed to the tooth of detraction; vilifed;
hopelessly in the wrong; superseded in the consideration and affection
of another.

  To men a man is but a mind.  Who cares
  What face he carries or what form he wears?
  But woman's body is the woman.  O,
  Stay thou, my sweetheart, and do never go,
  But heed the warning words the sage hath said:
  A woman absent is a woman dead.