family, that's what it is to be a favourite.

August 12th. I can't write every day for I spend most of my time
with the Warths. Oswald can't stand Robert, he says he is a cad and
a greenhorn. What vulgar phrases. For three days I haven't spoken to
Oswald except when I really had to. When I told Erna and Liesel about
it, they said that brothers were always rude to their sisters. I said,
I should like to know why. Besides, Robert is generally very nice to his
sisters. They said, Yes before you, because he's on his best behaviour
with you. Yesterday we laughed like anything when he told us what fun
the boys make of their masters. That story about the cigarette ends
was screamingly funny. They have a society called T. Au. M., that is
in Latin Be Silent or Die in initial letters. No one may betray the
society's secrets, and when they make a new member he has to strip off
all his clothes and lie down naked and every one spits on his chest and
rubs it and says: Be One of Us, but all in Latin. Then he has to go to
the eldest and biggest who gives him two or three cuts with a cane and
he has to swear that he will never betray anyone. Then everyone smokes
a cigar and touches him with the lighted end on the arm or somewhere
and says: Every act of treachery will burn you like that. And then the
eldest, who has a special name which I can't remember, tattoos on him
the word Taum, that is Be Silent or Die, and a heart with the name of
a girl. Robert says that if he had known me sooner he would have chosen
"Gretchen." I asked him what name he had tattooed on him, but he said
he was not allowed to tell. I shall tell Oswald to look when they
are bathing and to tell me. In this society they abuse the masters
frightfully and the one who thinks of the best tricks to play on them
is elected to the Rohon; to be a Rohon is a great distinction and the
others must always carry out his orders. He said there was a lot more
which he couldn't tell me because it's too tremendous. Then I had to
swear that I would never tell anyone about the society and he wanted
me to take the oath upon my knees, but I wouldn't do that and he nearly
forced me to my knees. In the end I had to give him my hand on it and a
kiss. I didn't mind giving him that, for a kiss is nothing, but nothing
would induce me to kneel down. Still, I was in an awful fright, for we
were quite alone in the garden and he took me by the throat and tried
to force me to my knees. All that about the _society_ he told me when
we were quite alone for he said: I can't have your name tattooed on me
because it's against our laws to have two names but now that you have
sworn I can let you know what I really am and think in secret.

I couldn't sleep all night for I kept on dreaming of the society,
wondering whether there are such societies in the high school and
whether Dora is in a society and has a name tattooed on her. But it
would be horrible to have to strip naked before all one's schoolfellows.
Perhaps in the societies of the high-school girls that part is left
out. But I shouldn't like to say for sure whether I'd have Robert's name
tattooed on me.

August 15th. Yesterday Robert told me that there are some schoolboy
societies where they do very improper things, but that never happened in
their society. But he didn't say what. I said, the stripping naked seems
to me awful; but he said, Oh, that's nothing, that must happen if
we're to trust one another, it's all right as long as there's nothing
improper. I wish I knew what. I wish I knew whether Oswald knows about
it, and whether he is in such a society or in a proper one and whether
Father was in one. If I could only find out. But I can't ask, for if I
did I should betray Robert. When he sees me he always presses my left
wrist without letting anyone see. He said that is the warning to me to
be silent. But he needn't do that really, for I never would betray him
whatever happened. He said: The pain is to bind you to me. When he says
that his eyes grow dark, quite black, although his eyes are really grey
and they get very large. Especially in the evening when we say goodbye,
it frightens me. I'm always dreaming of him.

August 18th. Yesterday evening we had illuminations in honour of the
emperor's birthday. We didn't get home until half past twelve. At first
we went to a concert in the park and to the illuminations. They fired
salutes from the hills and there were beacons flaring on the hill-tops;
it was rather creepy although it was wonderful. My teeth chattered once
or twice, I don't know whether I was afraid something would happen or
why it was. Then R. came and talked such a lot. He is set on going into
the army. For that he needn't learn so much, and what he's learning now
is of no use to him. He says that doesn't matter, that knowledge will
give him a great pull. I don't think he looks stupid, though Oswald says
so to make me angry. All at once we found ourselves quite away from the
others and so we sat on a bench to wait for them. Then I asked R. once
more about the other societies, the ones in which they do such improper
things. But he wouldn't tell me for he said he would not rob me of my
innocence. I thought that very stupid, and I said that perhaps he didn't
know himself and it was all put on. All that happened, he said, was that
anyone who joined the society was tickled until he couldn't stand it any
longer. And once one of them got St. Vitus's dance, that is frightful
convulsions and they were afraid that everything would come out. And
since then in their society no more tickling had been allowed. Shall
I tickle you a little? I don't understand you, I said, and anyhow you
daren't.

He gave a great laugh and suddenly he seized me and tickled me under the
arm. It made me want to laugh frightfully, but I stifled it for there
were still lots of people going by. So he gave that up and tickled my
hand. I liked it at first, but then I got angry and dragged my hand
away. Just then Inspee went by with two other girls and directly they
had passed us we followed close behind as if we had been walking like
that all the time. It saved me a wigging from Mother, for she always
wants us all to keep together. As we went along R. said: Look out,
Gretel, I'm going to tickle you some day until you scream.--How absurd,
I won't have it, it takes two to do that.

By the way, in the raffle I won a vase with 2 turtledoves and a bag of