and fortune, were I to suppress, through and affectation of
modesty, the mention of such valuable gifts?

     Well then, dress'd I was, and little did it then enter
into my head that all this gay attire was no more than deck-
ing the victim out for sacrifice, whilst I innocently attri-
buted all to mere friendship and kindness in the sweet good
Mrs. Brown; who, I was forgetting to mention, had, under
pretence of keeping my money safe, got from me, without the
least hesitation, the driblet (so I now call it) which re-
mained to me after the expences of my journey.

     After some little time most agreeably spent before the 
glass, in scarce self-admiration, since my new dress had by
much the greatest share in it, I was sent for down to the
parlour, where the old lady saluted me, and wished me joy
of my new cloaths, which she was not asham'd to say, fitted
me as if I had worn nothing but the finest all my life-time;
but what was it she could not see me silly enough to swallow?
At the same time, she presented me to another cousin of her
own creation, an elderly gentleman, who got up, at my entry
into the room, and on my dropping a curtsy to him, saluted
me, and seemed a little affronted that I had only presented
my cheek to him; a mistake, which, if one, he immediately
corrected, by glewing his lips to mine, with an ardour which
his figure had not at all disposed me to thank him for; his
figure, I say, than which nothing could be more shocking or
detestable: for ugly, and disagreeable, were terms too gentle
to convey a just idea of it.

     Imagine to yourself a man rather past threescore, short
and ill-made, with a yellow cadaverous hue, great goggling
eyes that stared as if he was strangled; and out-mouth from
two more properly tusks than teeth, livid-lips, and breath
like a jake's: then he had a peculiar ghastliness in his grin
that made him perfectly frightful, if not dangerous to women
with child; yet, made as he was thus in mock of man, he was
so blind to his own staring deformities as to think himself
born for pleasing, and that no woman could see him with im-
punity: in consequence of which idea, he had lavish'd great
sums on such wretches as could gain upon themselves to pre-
tend love to his person, whilst to those who had not art or
patience to dissemble the horror it inspir'd, he behaved 
even brutally.  Impotence, more than necessity, made him
seek in variety the provocative that was wanting to raise
him to the pitch of enjoyment, which too he often saw him-
self baulked of, by the failure of his powers: and this
always threw him into a fit of rage, which he wreak'd, as
far as he durst, on the innocent objects of his fit of
momentary desire.

     This then was the monster to which my conscientious
benefactress, who had long been his purveyor in this way,
had doom'd me, and sent for me down purposely for his ex-
amination.  Accordingly she made me stand up before him,
turn'd me round, unpinn'd my handkerchief, remark'd to him
the rise and fall, the turn and whiteness of a bosom just
beginning to fill; then made me walk, and took even a han-
dle from the rusticity of my gait, to inflame the inventory
of my charms: in short, she omitted no point of jockeyship;
to which he only answer'd by gracious nods of approbation,
whilst he look'd goats and monkies at me: for I sometimes
stole a corner glance at him, and encountering his fiery,
eager stare, looked another way from pure horror and af-
fright, which he, doubtless in character, attributed to
nothing more than maiden modesty, or at least the affec-
tation of it.

     However, I was soon dismiss'd, and reconducted to my
room by Phoebe, who stuck close to me, not leaving me alone
and at leisure to make such reflections as might naturally
rise to any one, not an idiot, on such a scene as I had just
gone through; but to my shame be it confess'd, such was my
invincible stupidity, or rather portentous innocence, that 
I did not yet open my eyes to Mrs. Brown's designs, and saw
nothing in this titular cousin of hers but a shocking hide-
ous person which did not at all concern me, unless that my
respect to all her cousinhood.

     Phoebe, however, began to sift the state and pulses of
my heart towards this monster, asking me how I should approve
of such a fine gentleman for a husband?  (fine gentleman, I
suppose she called him, from his being daubed with lace).  I
answered her very naturally, that I had no thoughts of a hus-
band, but that if I was to choose one, it should be among my
own degree, sure!  So much had my aversion to that wretch's
hideous figure indisposed me to all "fine gentlemen," and
confounded my ideas, as if those of that rank had been neces-
sarily cast in the same mould that he was!  But Phoebe was
not to be beat off so, but went on with her endeavours to
melt and soften me for the purposes of my reception into that
hospitable house: and whilst she talked of the sex in general,
she had no reason to despair of a compliance, which more than
one reason shewed her would be easily enough obtained of me;
but then she had too much experience not to discover that my
particular fix'd aversion to that frightful cousin would be a
block not so readily to be removed, as suited the consum-
mation of their bargain, and sale of me.

     Mother Brown had in the mean time agreed the terms with