person I mean, - or that I must clear up my honour, I demanded to
be tried by a court-martial.  The colonel admitted my right to be
tried.  Some difficulty was found in composing the court, on
account of the Emperor of France's aunt refusing to let him come
out.  He was to be the president.  Ere yet we had appointed a
substitute, he made his escape over the back-wall, and stood among
us, a free monarch.

The court was held on the grass by the pond.  I recognised, in a
certain admiral among my judges, my deadliest foe.  A cocoa-nut had
given rise to language that I could not brook; but confiding in my
innocence, and also in the knowledge that the President of the
United States (who sat next him) owed me a knife, I braced myself
for the ordeal.

It was a solemn spectacle, that court.  Two executioners with
pinafores reversed led me in.  Under the shade of an umbrella I
perceived my bride, supported by the bride of the pirate-colonel.
The president, having reproved a little female ensign for
tittering, on a matter of life or death, called upon me to plead,
'Coward or no coward, guilty or not guilty?'  I pleaded in a firm
tone, 'No coward and not guilty.'  (The little female ensign being
again reproved by the president for misconduct, mutinied, left the
court, and threw stones.)

My implacable enemy, the admiral, conducted the case against me.
The colonel's bride was called to prove that I had remained behind
the corner lamp-post during the engagement.  I might have been
spared the anguish of my own bride's being also made a witness to
the same point, but the admiral knew where to wound me.  Be still,
my soul, no matter.  The colonel was then brought forward with his
evidence.

It was for this point that I had saved myself up, as the turning-
point of my case.  Shaking myself free of my guards, - who had no
business to hold me, the stupids, unless I was found guilty, - I
asked the colonel what he considered the first duty of a soldier?
Ere he could reply, the President of the United States rose and
informed the court, that my foe, the admiral, had suggested
'Bravery,' and that prompting a witness wasn't fair.  The president
of the court immediately ordered the admiral's mouth to be filled
with leaves, and tied up with string.  I had the satisfaction of
seeing the sentence carried into effect before the proceedings went
further.

I then took a paper from my trousers-pocket, and asked, 'What do
you consider, Col.  Redford, the first duty of a soldier?  Is it
obedience?'

'It is,' said the colonel.

'Is that paper - please to look at it - in your hand?'

'It is,' said the colonel.

'Is it a military sketch?'

'It is,' said the colonel.

'Of an engagement?'

'Quite so,' said the colonel.

'Of the late engagement?'

'Of the late engagement.'

'Please to describe it, and then hand it to the president of the
court.'

From that triumphant moment my sufferings and my dangers were at an
end.  The court rose up and jumped, on discovering that I had
strictly obeyed orders.  My foe, the admiral, who though muzzled
was malignant yet, contrived to suggest that I was dishonoured by
having quitted the field.  But the colonel himself had done as
much, and gave his opinion, upon his word and honour as a pirate,
that when all was lost the field might be quitted without disgrace.
I was going to be found 'No coward and not guilty,' and my blooming
bride was going to be publicly restored to my arms in a procession,
when an unlooked-for event disturbed the general rejoicing.  This
was no other than the Emperor of France's aunt catching hold of his
hair.  The proceedings abruptly terminated, and the court
tumultuously dissolved.

It was when the shades of the next evening but one were beginning
to fall, ere yet the silver beams of Luna touched the earth, that
four forms might have been descried slowly advancing towards the
weeping willow on the borders of the pond, the now deserted scene
of the day before yesterday's agonies and triumphs.  On a nearer
approach, and by a practised eye, these might have been identified
as the forms of the pirate-colonel with his bride, and of the day
before yesterday's gallant prisoner with his bride.

On the beauteous faces of the Nymphs dejection sat enthroned.  All
four reclined under the willow for some minutes without speaking,
till at length the bride of the colonel poutingly observed, 'It's
of no use pretending any more, and we had better give it up.'

'Hah!' exclaimed the pirate.  'Pretending?'