"Well if your conscience can stand it----"

"It has never failed me yet."

"But what do you mean to do?"

"To get there.  Once I am in his room I may see some opening. 
I may even go the length of open confession.  If he is a sportsman
he will be tickled."

"Tickled, indeed!  He's much more likely to do the tickling. 
Chain mail, or an American football suit--that's what you'll want. 
Well, good-bye.  I'll have the answer for you here on Wednesday
morning--if he ever deigns to answer you.  He is a violent,
dangerous, cantankerous character, hated by everyone who comes
across him, and the butt of the students, so far as they dare
take a liberty with him.  Perhaps it would be best for you if
you never heard from the fellow at all."

                           CHAPTER III

              "He is a Perfectly Impossible Person"

My friend's fear or hope was not destined to be realized.  When I
called on Wednesday there was a letter with the West Kensington
postmark upon it, and my name scrawled across the envelope in a
handwriting which looked like a barbed-wire railing.  The contents
were as follows:--

                              "ENMORE PARK, W.

"SIR,--I have duly received your note, in which you claim to
endorse my views, although I am not aware that they are dependent
upon endorsement either from you or anyone else.  You have
ventured to use the word `speculation' with regard to my
statement upon the subject of Darwinism, and I would call your
attention to the fact that such a word in such a connection is
offensive to a degree.  The context convinces me, however, that
you have sinned rather through ignorance and tactlessness than
through malice, so I am content to pass the matter by.  You quote
an isolated sentence from my lecture, and appear to have some
difficulty in understanding it.  I should have thought that only
a sub-human intelligence could have failed to grasp the point,
but if it really needs amplification I shall consent to see you
at the hour named, though visits and visitors of every sort are
exceeding distasteful to me.  As to your suggestion that I may
modify my opinion, I would have you know that it is not my habit to
do so after a deliberate expression of my mature views.  You will
kindly show the envelope of this letter to my man, Austin, when
you call, as he has to take every precaution to shield me from
the intrusive rascals who call themselves `journalists.'     
                         "Yours faithfully,
                            "GEORGE EDWARD CHALLENGER."

This was the letter that I read aloud to Tarp Henry, who had come
down early to hear the result of my venture.  His only remark
was, "There's some new stuff, cuticura or something, which is
better than arnica."  Some people have such extraordinary notions
of humor.

It was nearly half-past ten before I had received my message, but
a taxicab took me round in good time for my appointment.  It was
an imposing porticoed house at which we stopped, and the
heavily-curtained windows gave every indication of wealth upon
the part of this formidable Professor.  The door was opened by an
odd, swarthy, dried-up person of uncertain age, with a dark pilot
jacket and brown leather gaiters.  I found afterwards that he was
the chauffeur, who filled the gaps left by a succession of
fugitive butlers.  He looked me up and down with a searching
light blue eye.

"Expected?" he asked.

"An appointment."

"Got your letter?"

I produced the envelope.

"Right!"  He seemed to be a person of few words.  Following him
down the passage I was suddenly interrupted by a small woman, who
stepped out from what proved to be the dining-room door.  She was
a bright, vivacious, dark-eyed lady, more French than English in
her type.

"One moment," she said.  "You can wait, Austin.  Step in here, sir. 
May I ask if you have met my husband before?"

"No, madam, I have not had the honor."

"Then I apologize to you in advance.  I must tell you that he is
a perfectly impossible person--absolutely impossible.  If you
are forewarned you will be the more ready to make allowances."

"It is most considerate of you, madam."

"Get quickly out of the room if he seems inclined to be violent. 
Don't wait to argue with him.  Several people have been injured
through doing that.  Afterwards there is a public scandal and it
reflects upon me and all of us.  I suppose it wasn't about South