1782

                    THE CONFESSIONS OF JEAN-JACQUES ROUSSEAU

                            by Jean-Jacques Rousseau

                       translated by W. Conyngham Mallory

                          BOOK I

                       [1712-1728]

  I HAVE begun on a work which is without precedent, whose
accomplishment will have no imitator. I propose to set before my
fellow-mortals a man in all the truth of nature; and this man shall be
myself.

  I have studied mankind and know my heart; I am not made like any one
I have been acquainted with, perhaps like no one in existence; if
not better, I at least claim originality, and whether Nature has acted
rightly or wrongly in destroying the mold in which she cast me, can
only be decided after I have been read.

  I will present myself, whenever the last trumpet shall sound, before
the Sovereign Judge with this book in my hand, and loudly proclaim,
"Thus have I acted; these were my thoughts; such was I. With equal
freedom and veracity have I related what was laudable or wicked, I
have concealed no crimes, added no virtues; and if I have sometimes
introduced superfluous ornament, it was merely to occupy a void
occasioned by defect of memory: I may have supposed that certain,
which I only knew to be probable, but have never asserted as truth,
a conscious falsehood. Such as I was, I have declared myself;
sometimes vile and despicable, at others, virtuous, generous, and
sublime; even as Thou hast read my inmost soul: Power Eternal!
assemble round Thy throne an innumerable throng of my
fellow-mortals, let them listen to my confessions, let them blush at
my depravity, let them tremble at my sufferings; let each in his
turn expose with equal sincerity the failings, the wanderings of his
heart, and if he dare, aver, I was better than that man."

  I was born at Geneva, in 1712, son of Isaac Rousseau and Susannah
Bernard, citizens. My father's share of a moderate competency, which
was divided among fifteen children, being very trivial, his business
of a watchmaker (in which he had the reputation of great ingenuity)
was his only dependence. My mother's circumstances were more affluent;
she was daughter of a Mons. Bernard, minister, and possessed a
considerable share of modesty and beauty; indeed, my father found some
difficulty in obtaining her hand.

  The affection they entertained for each other was almost as early as
their existence; at eight or nine years old they walked together every
evening on the banks of the Treille, and before they were ten, could
not support the idea of separation. A natural sympathy of soul
confined those sentiments of predilection which habit at first
produced; born with minds susceptible of the most exquisite
sensibility and tenderness, it was only necessary to encounter similar
dispositions; that moment fortunately presented itself, and each
surrendered a willing heart.

  The obstacles that opposed served only to give a degree of
vivacity to their affection, and the young lover, not being able to
obtain his mistress, was overwhelmed with sorrow and despair. She
advised him to travel- to forget her. He consented- he traveled but
returned more passionate than ever, and had the happiness to find
her equally constant, equally tender. After this proof of mutual
affection, what could they resolve?- to dedicate their future lives to
love! the resolution was ratified with a vow, on which Heaven shed its
benediction.

  Fortunately, my mother's brother, Gabriel Bernard, fell in love with
one of my father's sisters: she had no objection to the match, but
made the marriage of his sister with her brother an indispensable
preliminary. Love soon removed every obstacle, and the two weddings
were celebrated the same day: thus my uncle became the husband of my
aunt, and their children were doubly cousins german. Before a year was
expired, both had the happiness to become fathers, but were soon after
obliged to submit to a separation.

  My uncle Bernard, who was an engineer, went to serve in the empire
and Hungary, under Prince Eugene, and distinguished himself both at
the siege and battle of Belgrade. My father, after the birth of my
only brother, set off, on recommendation, for Constantinople, and
was appointed watchmaker to the Seraglio. During his absence, the
beauty, wit, and accomplishments* of my mother attracted a number of
admirers, among whom Mons. de la Closure, Resident of France, was
the most assiduous in his attentions. His passion must have been
extremely violent, since after a period of thirty years I have seen
him affected at the very mention of her name. My mother had a
defense more powerful even than her virtue; she tenderly loved my
father, and conjured him to return; his inclination seconding his
request, he gave up every prospect of emolument, and hastened to
Geneva.

  * They were too brilliant for her situation, the minister, her
father, having bestowed great pains on her education. She was taught
drawing, singing, and to play on the theorbo; had learning, and
wrote very agreeable verses. The following is an extempore piece which
she composed in the absence of her husband and brother, in a
conversation with some person relative to them, while walking with her
sister-in-law, and their two children: