walks. I should like to know what's the matter with
her. What I can't make out is why Father lets her
do it. As for Mother, she always spoils Dora; Dora
is Mother's favourite, especially when Oswald is not
on hand. I can understand her making a favourite
of Oswald, but not of Dora. Father always says
that parents have no favourites, but treat all their
children alike. That's true enough as far as Father
is concerned, although Dora declares that Father
makes a favourite of me; but that's only her fancy.
At Christmas and other times we always get the same
sort of presents, and that's the real test. Rosa Plank
always gets at least three times as much as the rest
of the family, that's what it is to be a favourite.

August 12th. I can't write every day for I spend
most of my time with the Warths. Oswald can't
stand Robert, he says he is a cad and a greenhorn.
What vulgar phrases. For three days I haven't
spoken to Oswald except when I really had to. When
I told Erna and Liesel about it, they said that brothers
were always rude to their sisters. I said, I should
like to know why. Besides, Robert is generally very
nice to his sisters. They said, Yes before you, because
he's on his best behaviour with you. Yesterday we
laughed like anything when he told us what fun the
boys make of their masters. That story about the
cigarette ends was screamingly funny. They have a
society called T. Au. M., that is in Latin Be Silent
or Die in initial letters. No one may betray the
society's secrets, and when they make a new member
he has to strip off all his clothes and lie down naked
and every one spits on his chest and rubs it and says:
Be One of Us, but all in Latin. Then he has to go
to the eldest and biggest who gives him two or three
cuts with a cane and he has to swear that he will
never betray anyone. Then everyone smokes a cigar
and touches him with the lighted end on the arm
or somewhere and says: Every act of treachery will
burn you like that. And then the eldest, who has
a special name which I can't remember, tattoos on
him the word Taum, that is Be Silent or Die, and a
heart with the name of a girl. Robert says that if
he had known me sooner he would have chosen
"Gretchen." I asked him what name he had tattooed
on him, but he said he was not allowed to tell. I
shall tell Oswald to look when they are bathing and
to tell me. In this society they abuse the masters
frightfully and the one who thinks of the best tricks
to play on them is elected to the Rohon; to be a
Rohon is a great distinction and the others must always
carry out his orders. He said there was a lot
more which he couldn't tell me because it's too
tremendous. Then I had to swear that I would never
tell anyone about the society and he wanted me to take
the oath upon my knees, but I wouldn't do that and
he nearly forced me to my knees. In the end I had
to give him my hand on it and a kiss. I didn't mind
giving him that, for a kiss is nothing, but nothing
would induce me to kneel down. Still, I was in an
awful fright, for we were quite alone in the garden
and he took me by the throat and tried to force me
to my knees. All that about the _society_ he told me
when we were quite alone for he said: I can't have
your name tattooed on me because it's against our
laws to have two names but now that you have sworn
I can let you know what I really am and think in
secret.

I couldn't sleep all night for I kept on dreaming
of the society, wondering whether there are such
societies in the high school and whether Dora is in
a society and has a name tattooed on her. But it
would be horrible to have to strip naked before all
one's schoolfellows. Perhaps in the societies of the
high-school girls that part is left out. But I shouldn't
like to say for sure whether I'd have Robert's name
tattooed on me.

August 15th. Yesterday Robert told me that there
are some schoolboy societies where they do very improper
things, but that never happened in their society.
But he didn't say what. I said, the stripping naked
seems to me awful; but he said, Oh, that's nothing,
that must happen if we're to trust one another, it's
all right as long as there's nothing improper. I wish
I knew what. I wish I knew whether Oswald knows
about it, and whether he is in such a society or in
a proper one and whether Father was in one. If I
could only find out. But I can't ask, for if I did
I should betray Robert. When he sees me he always
presses my left wrist without letting anyone see. He
said that is the warning to me to be silent. But he
needn't do that really, for I never would betray him
whatever happened. He said: The pain is to bind
you to me. When he says that his eyes grow dark,
quite black, although his eyes are really grey and they
get very large. Especially in the evening when we
say goodbye, it frightens me. I'm always dreaming
of him.